It was a quiet night at 2.30 AM and I had just rewatched Manchester by the Sea. As the film ended, I closed my laptop and recalled when I first stumbled upon the film two years ago, and how captivated I was after the film ends, as I am now. What I had thought as a boring two-hour-and-forty-minute film even brings much more sense and understanding after you let yourself digest the film with an afterthoughts.
This film is so sad, I could really understand the struggle between an uncle and his nephew when dealing with their own grief, and trauma. And the worst thing is their inability to express their sorrow. But it's also beautiful. Because it is so real. It is realistic.
Two Men Dealing with Their Own Grief
The story follows Lee Chandler (portrayed by Casey Affleck) whose life turned upside down after the traumatic event happened in his family (I can’t really say that since it could be potentially lead to spoilers!), so now he lives in his sad boring life as a handyman in Boston.
His life becomes more depressing after the death of his brother, Joe Chandler, forcing him to return to his hometown Manchester which later being appointed a guardian of his brother’s son, Patrick (portrayed by Lucas Hedges). Lee’s repulsion to the arrangement that makes him as his nephew’s guardian intensifies the tension between him and Patrick, his nephew.
As the story goes, Lee’s past becomes unravel which leads to his antisocial behavior. He can’t make small talk with people, he can’t respond when somebody flirting with him anymore. He even goes to the bar, only to sit in silence (and we can see his sad face staring at the drink), and when he’s wasted enough, he would hit at any random people who look at him.
Realistic Approach of Grief
In this film you will find two men dealing with their own sadness in their own ways. And they are unable to address the difficult emotion, let alone to express it. You will not find men crying ferociously over the tragedy that had happened to them, nor will you find superhero women comes to them to save them from their own sorrow. No. What you will find is two lonely men, unable to connect with each other, being handcuffed with the overwhelming trauma. What you’ll find for the rest of the movie is empty stare, gray faces and dialogues like “Okay, I don’t want to talk about this anymore” whenever a conflict rises.
What makes the film even feel more poignant is that though the grief they are experiencing is invisible from the outside. They seem to carry on, they don’t cry or having a moment of break down, they even don’t seek other people’s help. But we can see how deteriorating the unprocessed emotion is to their life. As we can see Lee becomes more and more disconnected and isolated, and the suppressed sadness which can turn burst of anger.
This film portrays that grief is not necessarily always loud, like followed with agony roar; but rather it’s sometimes quiet, isolating and suffocating, and eventually silently deteriorating the person’s condition. And I think this kind is more likely happen in the real life, especially for men. Yet I think that is what makes this torturing movie beautiful. It portrays grief in the realest way possible.
Casey Affleck’s Success Portraying Unlikable Character
I must say Lee is not a character you’d easily emphasize with. Not to mention he is a very unlikable character. His repulsion behavior to anyone really frustrates me, even when I have watched the film twice. But I think it is a good sign. When the audience or viewer doesn’t like a character or even hate them, that means the actor has done a terrific job. And I must say the same with Casey Affleck. No wonder why he earned his first Oscar for this.
There are scenes where I sighed and said, “Just say you’re sad or you’re depressed or you’re devastated!” every time Lee shutting down to a rising conflict. But it just emphasize more on his inability to dress the issue and to express their negative feelings in a right way. The more I think about Lee, his inability what makes him even more tragic yet authentic person. Kudos for Casey Affleck!
Afterthoughts
After all, this film still mesmerizes me for the second time. I guess that’s the perks of rewatching something. You will never see the same movies twice. Even though the move you’re rewatching might be the same, but the you who watched it is different now. And there will always be something new that you pick on as you rewatch the movie. Watching this movie for the second time, I really felt the tension between Lee and Patrick, both holding the grief to themselves, especially when Patrick brings up the issue, but Lee always backs off and abrupt the conflict. Watching how different Lee’s life before and after the traumatic incident that had happened to him makes me even realize how hard it is to be a father, and how impossible it seems to not blame yourself when a tragic happens in your family.
What I learn about this movie is that as a person who’s never experienced grief until now, it somehow shows a new perspective of what sorrow could look like. Rewatching the movie deepens my understanding of grief, as a person who has yet to experiencing deep sadness like Lee and Patrick. I would say this film is kind of like the one that reveals something new the more you watch it again and again. The way grief lingers and shapes our actions, even without words, becomes clearer. Like any great film or book, it changes as you change.
I really, really, really recommend this film if you like the slow-paced movie but brings so much value and meaning after you give it some afterthoughts. I promise this movie won’t be disappointing.
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